F is for Fan Girl
by fritzer
Summary: Kai has a fan club. Poor poor Kai. Shonenai soooo tiny you wouldn't even know it was there. But if you DO see it it's KR


KI: Another one-shot. –Sigh- this one with a special appearance by my little sister that apparently thought it'd be fun to insult the object of a mob of fan girl's affections and get mauled. I have an idiotic sister, I know.

WARNING: Almost shonen-ai but nothing besides bad circumstances. But, just in case/

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Beyblade or Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho. I mean, come on! If I owned either why would I be wasting my time posting all my work on this free site? -Don't answer that.

F is for Fangirls

-Bad title-

It had started out with one girl. She squealed, she stalked, she killed her hands attempting to make an 'I LOVE KAI' t-shirt. Easy enough to ignore, though the rest of his team spent a few hours laughing their arses off when they saw.

But that was only the beginning.

It wasn't long before it had grown to a full-fledged ARMY. They followed him everywhere, baring large banners and flags depicting their oh-so-inconspicuously named 'WE LOVE KAI FANCLUB!'

And, frankly, Kai was sick of it.

He resisted the strong urge to twitch as one particularly loud girl screeched, "I LOVE YOU KAI!"

Tyson snickered very indiscreetly into his rice bowl.

Max rolled his eyes, smiling widely.

Rei rolled his eyes and smacked Tyson over the head with his chopsticks.

"Hey! Why didn't you hit Max?"

"I don't remember Max doing anything."

Max grinned and stuck his tongue out, making Tyson growl threateningly.

As all this went on, Kai's left eye twitched and he banged his head against the table. This made one of the fan girls yell something in alarm and soon every window had at least ten girls with their faces pressed up against the glass.

"I just cleaned those windows," Tyson moaned sadly.

"Die evil Tyson!" one particularly zealous fan girl screeched and chucked a beyblade at him. It hit with a loud thud and Tyson toppled to the ground, screaming and soon after, unconscious.

For a moment, everyone just stared at the world champion's twitching body.

Then, they shrugged and went back to eating.

"At least something good came from this," Kai muttered.

* * *

The following day, Kai awoke bright and early, hoping to get in a little bit of practice before his fan club came to stalk him for the day.

-No! He was absolutely NOT getting used to the idea of a mob of prepubescent teeny boppers stalking is every movement! He WOULD get his revenge. Really!

Anyway, he went outside Tyson's dojo's front gate, on his way to the park.

Well, until he saw half of yesterday's mob waiting right outside.

"WE LOVE YOU KAI!" they all screeched in unison in various off-pitch, ear-splitting pitches.

Then-

"I LOVE HIEI!"

All the girls turned slowly to glare in a very Kai-like manner at the ten-year-old redhead holding up a sign saying 'I Love Hiei!' with a very badly drawn spiky-haired chibi under it glaring back at everyone.

"Um…"she said, peering up nervously at her sign. "What's that doing there?"

She tossed the sign aside, laughing nervously. "Eh heh heh.."

The fan girls growled.

"Get her!"

"Ahhhhh!" She sped away screaming, the nearest fan girls chasing after her.

The rest turned back to a slowly inching away Kai.

"Let's kidnap Kai and gloat all over the 'I love Kai!' message boards!" one suggested.

"YEAH!"

"Oh god," he said in the face of the coming fan girls. "I know I don't talk to you very much-okay, I never talk to you, but please-"

Before he could finish he was running back into the safety of the dojo, screaming like a little girl.

* * *

Rei had awoken shortly after Kai –unknowing of his teammates plight, of course- in order to make breakfast. He had begun doing this about year ago, after discovering that if he made enough for only four people the Tyson would eat three of those portions, thus leaving all but one other person –usually Kai- starving.

He had just started when a truly horrible, ear-splitting, girl-like screech rang through the air. Quite off topic, he thought that neither Tyson nor Max would be woken from their log-like slumber by it.

Soon after, a very out of character Kai sped through the doorway, toppled over an inconveniently placed chair, and fell face first to the ground.

"Itai…" –1-

Rei blinked, leaning cautiously over the twitching body that was Kai.

"Kai," he said carefully. "Are you alright?"

Kai muttered something into the floor and dragged himself into an upright position.

"Come again?"

"A mob of fan girls wants to kidnap me."

Rei blinked again. He resisted the urge not to laugh-and failed. I mean, COME ON. Kai screaming like a girl and being chased by a mob of psychotic fan girls. How could he NOT laugh?

Kai glared darkly at the neko jin. "Right now, I really hate you."

Rei stifled his laughter into a very conspicuous cough and held out his hand. "Here."

After glaring for another moment, he gave in and took the Chinese blader's hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet.

For a moment they just stood there, why I have absolutely no idea.

They were about to take a few steps back, as they were standing a bit too close to be wither straight OR comfortable when-

"LOOK ITS KAI!"

"GAH!"

"WHAT THE?"

The two jumped, Rei tripped over the same chair, accidentally pulling Kai back down with him.

When Tyson and Max ran into the kitchen moments later, they found Rei sprawled across the kitchen floor with a dazed Kai on top of him, surrounded by teenage girls.

"What's going on?" Tyson asked, severely disturbed.

Max took one look and passed out.

One fan girl got a VERY odd idea.

"Hey, why don't we turn our 'I Love Kai!' fan club into an 'I Love KaiRei!' fan club?"

Silence-

"YAY, FOR KAIREI SHONEN-AI!"

Kai blanched. "Oh god, what did I ever do to you? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

-Do you really want me to answer that? -

Kai blinked. "God?"

-No, you impudent fool. It's me the almighty author! -Though, I guess I am a bit like God to you right now. -

"Oh."

"Hey, Kai-"

"Yeah?"

"Could you please get off of me?"

"Awwwww, it's a KaiRei moment!"

"I STILL LOVE YOU HIEI!"

"I thought we killed you off!"

And guess what.

Kai twitched.

* * *

FIN

* * *

KI: How was that? Not quite shonen-ai, but still. 


End file.
